Because in the school of the Spirit,
man learns wisdom through humility,
knowledge by forgetting,
how to speak by silence,
how to live by dying.
-Johannes Tauler

Monday, July 26, 2010

"Not my Moleskine!!!"

"Holy desires...increase by delay in their fulfillment; if delay causes them to fail, they were not desires." -St. Gregory the Great

In one month, ask me if I still want a new Moleskine planner...mine suffered a significant amount of water damage tonight, and well, I felt like crying. I have been somewhat dramatic and asked Julie if I could possibly bend some rules (using a dusty Border's gift card? asking for a "gift" from someone?) to obtain a new one. Like tomorrow. I am attached to this thing at the hip. (Planner = life...?) Her advice: wait a month and see how you feel. She reminded me that she has made it this far without a watch...

So, maybe I don't need it as much as I think I do...and we're back to this again.

He makes everything glorious. +

Friday, July 16, 2010

Long Story Short

Update: I've continued the trend I began in my preparations for Haiti and have started getting rid of the clothes I no longer need or want or that aren't modest. It's amazing how long the culture has kept it's grip on me! But slowly, slowly I will continue conforming to who Christ is asking me to be. He is so patient! 
So, long story short, remember the problem of no more hangars? Plenty now to go around! 

On a similar note, as a form of poverty I suppose, we've taken on a challenge for the summer, Julie and I. No A/C in our apartment. We'll make an exception if we're going to have guests (no need to drag innocent bystanders into our experiments!). If you've spent any time in central Indiana in the last month, you know there've been a few hot ones! Long story short, it's a bit rough, but as I've been saying all summer: "It's not as hot as Haiti!" 

But speaking of Haiti and no air conditioning, I realized something a few weeks after I got back. Being sort of toasty in the apartment, you don't usually want to wear much but shorts and a tank top. And that's when I realized I left almost all of my shorts in Haiti...hopefully someone is getting some good use out of them down there (although I'm generally twice the size of all the Haitians, so hopefully there's someone who can even fit into them!). So, this has been another component to the year: offering up all that the present situation (and my ambitious generosity) brings!

But long story short, my mom sneakily purchased some shorts for me. She tried to tell me that they were from her closet, a couple pairs that she "never wears anymore." Then why do they smell new, Mom? :)

Ah, but it takes me back to an earlier post: this is the charity we open ourselves up to in poverty. A charity that comes unrequested and undeserved. And that is the charity - the love - we receive from Our Lord, who is Love Himself. 

Long story short? All you need is love. +

Sunday, July 4, 2010

For the love of God

Now and then, I’ll think of something I would buy if I was living a normal life, things that “I could really use.” I thought maybe I’d start writing a list of all these things so that next year I would remember to buy them. A friend advised me against this and the more I’ve thought about it the more I realize the absurdity of such a plan. Honestly, Missy? If I need a list to remind me to buy something in six months, then it can’t be that critical of a belonging. It’s becoming a discipline, to stop myself from thinking, “I’ll buy that next year, when I’m allowed.” That is not what this is about! I haven’t made these rules and entered into this experiment to cage my shopping habits for a year, only to let them loose with wild abandon when the time of oppression comes to an end. No! This is deeper than that. I am seeking a change of heart and attitude, a platform for a greater perspective of poverty and hopefully, therefore, solidarity with those who are less fortunate. If I cannot recognize the value in all I have, the gifts God has already bestowed upon me and their full potential, and acknowledge that no material possession will ever make me more complete, then this year of commitment to a spirit of poverty is in vain. If I do not let this transform me totally, I will have done it for nothing.

I don’t do things for nothing. +